I am opening the windows of heaven to pour down blessings to all My faithful children. Just believe and stretch forth your hands and fill all your baskets with My love. Fill all your baskets to overflow and feed the nations the manna from heaven. Go forth with healing words to ignite power and faith and provision and joy and peace. Fill your baskets with the abundance of heaven. Take your baskets of bounty to the valleys and to the mountain tops. The bread of heaven is for the rich and for the poor. This bread cannot be fabricated on earth, but it will be on earth as it is in heaven. Open your arms wide and I will continue to fill you. Open your heart to Me and you will walk on earth with the treasures of heaven to distribute to the poor, the humble, the downcast, the sick, and the blind. _______
Estoy abriendo las ventanas de los cielos para derramar bendiciones sobre todos Mis hijos fieles. Simplemente crean y extiendan sus manos y llenen todas sus cestas con Mi amor. Llenen todas sus cestas hasta que rebosen y alimenten a las naciones con el maná del cielo. Avanzen con palabras curativas para encender el poder, la fe, la provisión, el gozo y la paz. Llenen sus cestas con la abundancia del cielo. Lleven sus cestas de generosidad a los valles y a las cimas de las montañas. El pan del cielo es para ricos y para pobres. Este pan no podrá fabricarse en la tierra, pero será en la tierra como en el cielo. Abran bien sus brazos y seguiré llenándolos. Abran sus corazónes y caminen por la tierra con los tesoros del cielo para distribuirlos a los pobres, a los humildes, a los abatidos, a los enfermos y a los ciegos.
Redwoods on a trail along the Newton B. Drury Scenic Parkway in Northern California. Photo / Merwyn Sanders II (2022)
The coastal redwoods, found mostly in Northern California, Oregon, and Washington, are the tallest trees on Earth. The secret strength that upholds these giant trees is found in their roots. They only go 6-12 feet deep but extend up to 100 feet wide and interlock with neighboring redwood trees.
Imagine a wide root system spread out underground giving it stability above ground through strong winds, earthquakes, storms, and floods. Their scientific name attests to their durability; sequoia sempervirens, which means “evergreen or everlasting.”
Roots are vitally important because they provide nutrients and stability. This is true in our spiritual life as well. However, their only as strong as the source of their strength.
dark night of the soul
Recently, I went through what could be described as a ‘dark night of the soul.’ The built up of stress at work revealed unresolved trauma from the past and erupted as severe anxiety coupled with depression for over a month. I was off work during that time and ended up making a prayerful decision to resign from a job I was at for 9 years that I viewed more as ministry than work.
However, when mechanisms are not in place to support staff, burnout usually follows. It was one of the hardest experiences I’ve been through. I’m still processing what led me to that place, the loss, the disappointment, but most importantly, discovering new depths in my relationship with God.
There’s always hope when we cry out to the God who loves us and who has promised to never leave us. And this love can reach us in varied ways. One of the ways God comforted and sustained me was through my friends. These friends prayed for me, nurtured me, fed me, listened to me, encouraged me, and presented the light of love in what felt like the darkest of nights, at the time. I know I would’ve made it through even if I was alone, but I wonder how long that would have taken. There is a reason why God once said that it is not good for man to be alone.
fellowship & unity
One of my takeaways from that recent experience is the value and necessity of fellowship with other like-minded believers. Just like the redwoods whose root system is comprised of the interlocked roots of many trees; our strength is found in unity of the faith. There were several key practices, many which were done daily, that contributed to the stability of the early Church and that can model that unity.
“They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe at the many wonders and signs performed by the apostles. All the believers were together and had everything in common. They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.” Acts 2:42-47
When you fellowship with other believers, especially around the intimacy of a familial table, you’re taking the time to invest in getting to really know each other and share life’s journey, the good, the bad, and the ugly. You value each other, stir one another to love and good works, build each other up, you worship, pray, and learn together, and you share in the communion of Christ’s death, and meet each other’s needs. From this safe place you venture into ministry. On the other hand, a life lived in isolation breeds hopelessness, loneliness, and weakness.
rooted takeaways
We are connected to each other.
What we consume affects our brothers/sisters in Christ.
If we stay connected, we will get through life together.
The source of our strength holds our position and posture.
We’re living in a time when ‘church’ as we’ve known it may change and the call back to small intimate gatherings in homes may be necessary. With this in mind, I encourage you to begin to build some intimate relationships with brothers and sisters and start with a simple dinner around a table. This is what I now value and know to be necessary.
The dodo bird is extinct. So, what can I say about a flightless, homely-looking bird that isn’t around anymore? It couldn’t soar like the eagle due to its stubby, powerless wings and it couldn’t even strut around proud as a peacock covered with gray down instead of feathers. Yet its legacy lives on 300 years later in our modern-day vernacular, “You dodo bird!”
The dodo was first discovered living in the palm and tropical fruit-tree dense forests of the island of Mauritius off the coast of Africa in 1598 by Dutch and Portuguese explorers. They named it dodoor, which means ‘sluggard’ in Dutch and doudou, which means ‘simpleton’ in Portuguese.
The dodo bird frolicked on the island with no need to migrate to far-off lands. It had sufficient fair to eat and no apparent enemies on the island. Over time this ancestor of the pigeon lost its ability to fly because it had no reason to. However, when the ravenous, seafaring sailors came to the island they hunted the birds. They also brought carnivorous dogs, cats, and pigs with them, and most likely stowaway rats. This sudden new threat endangered the species and eventually contributed to its disappearance.
The dodo was caught off guard. Being isolated and conditioned to live carefree didn’t prepare it for the danger that would devour its paradisiacal and inexperienced existence. It lacked the biological response animals have to acute stress coined, fight or flight. The dodo didn’t fight to protect itself or escape capture. It didn’t disappear physically or even disappear in place by playing dead or camouflaging itself with a change of colors, like the chameleon. Its adrenaline-charged self-defense reflex didn’t budge, which would have heightened its speed, force, sight, hearing, thinking, or flying. Even if it had tried to fly away, it wouldn’t have succeeded. Because it hadn’t branched out to discover other realities. It clipped its own wings.
Many of us can’t interpret the danger signs against our very lives. We’re not privy to the enemy’s tactics bent on our destruction. We ignore the world, the flesh, and the devil as real threats, like the dodo bird living on an island, indulging itself and unaware of an existing enemy.
The apostle Peter teaches us to “Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.” (1 Peter 5:8)
What does it mean to be sober-minded or of a sober spirit?
When we think about being sober the first thing that pops into our minds is abstaining from intoxicating or addictive substances such as alcohol and drugs.
Allowing our minds to be influenced, manipulated, or controlled by the spiritual forces of darkness is just as harmful as introducing foreign or dangerous substances into our physical bodies. The problem is that these influences usually masquerade themselves under the guise of widely accepted cultural practices, ideologies, religions, fads, and entertainment.
Many professing Christians have become desensitized to these deceptions, easily accepting worldly standards instead of God’s plumbline of truth. It takes wisdom from the Holy Spirit to know the difference between worldly and Christian values.
Believers succumb to the lust of the flesh, the pride of life, and the lust of the eyes; tempted by the physical world and its desires, looking to notable celebrities and the latest guru instead of seeking the kingdom of God for spiritual instruction. If we look, sound, and act like unbelievers that’s a sure marker that we’re off course spiritually.
We have a critical choice to make. We can sway on a hammock, holding a piña colada in one hand and our cell phone in the other and be a prime target for the enemy, like the dodo bird of years past, or we can prepare ourselves to fight the good fight and escape the snare of the enemy.
Recently, I had a conversation with a pastor, and he reminded me that it takes daily discipline to pray, study the word of God, and introduce Godly-inspired habits that will help us manage the flesh and its lusts because temptations are always willing to come knocking, especially when our defenses are down.
To be sober-minded or free from intoxicating influences such as lies, pleasures, and worldly riches, we must know the truth found in God’s word which will help us stay alert and prayerful. The most important thing that should be in our hands is the sword of the Spirit which is the word of God; it is the only offensive weapon in the armor of God.
We must know the word of God, believe the word of God, and wield the word of God!
Redwoods along the Newton B. Drury Scenic Parkway in Northern California. Photo / Ibelisse Sanchez (2022)
the tallest trees in the world
The redwood forest is a fairytale to visit. It has centuries of secrets throughout its cinnamon-red bark tree groves, whispered like fireflies ready to be caught. Some of the massive trees in the forest are as old as 2000 plus years; mere saplings destined to scrape the skies in the Northern Hemisphere when Jesus walked this earth.
Redwoods can grow to 350 feet tall. There’s much happening between the ground and the crown of the redwood. Simply standing next to these giants is quite humbling. We can’t help to look up at these tall trees in admiration. They hover over us as nature’s guardians.
I can only imagine the Earth’s quake when they fall. That was their great peril many moons ago when logging was rampant in Humboldt County of Northern California. Chopping down a redwood tree wasn’t an easy task in the late 19th and early 20th centuries. Before electric saws were invented, this was done with axes and hand saws, which took days to complete.
What was left behind in that early period of logging the coastal redwoods was a forest floor filled with headstones of old-growth tree stumps. The cut stumps revealed the secret of how long the trees had lived. The top of a tree stump has concentric rings, with light-colored rings representing growth occurring in the spring and early summer, and dark rings representing wood that grows in the late summer and fall. The combination of one light ring plus one dark ring would equal one year of life for the tree. In the mid-1850s, redwood forests covered 2,000,000 acres of the California coast. By 1910, conservation efforts began to preserve the remaining redwood trees. By 1968, 90% of the trees that stood the test of time had been logged. Today, these old-growth redwoods comprise only 39,000 acres, located in the Redwood National and State Parks.
a king, a dream, and a tall tree
Trees are quite predominant in nature and in the Bible. Around 2500 years ago Nebuchadnezzar was king over the Neo-Babylonian Empire (605 – 562 B.C.); a pagan warrior-ruler-builder who wreaked havoc on his enemies. He destroyed the Kingdom of Judah, Solomon’s temple, and led its people into captivity to Babylonia. Among the exiles was Daniel, a young Jew from Jerusalem taken captive who proved to be quite useful to the king with the interpretation of dreams (when the king wasn’t throwing him into a fiery furnace for refusing to serve other gods or worship the golden image the king had set up).
One night, Nebuchadnezzar saw terrifying images and visions while lying in bed and none of the wise men of the land could interpret the dream. Sorcerers and soothsayers, diviners, and Chaldeans came to him and couldn’t reveal its meaning.
The king dreamt of a tree that grew strong, and its height reached the heavens above and could be seen all over the earth. Then an angelic watcher, a holy one come from heaven appeared and shouted:
“Chop down the tree and cut off its branches, Shake off its foliage and scatter its fruit; Let the animals flee from under it And the birds from its branches. Yet leave the stump with its roots in the ground, But with a band of iron and bronze around it In the new grass of the field; And let him be drenched with the dew of heaven, And let him share with the animals in the grass of the earth. Let his mind change from that of a human And let an animal’s mind be given to him, And let seven periods of time pass over him. This sentence is by the decree of the angelic watchers, And the decision is a command of the holy ones, In order that the living may know That the Most High is ruler over the realm of mankind, And He grants it to whomever He wishes And sets over it the lowliest of people.”
Daniel 4:14-17
Nebuchadnezzar is a color monotype print with additions in ink and watercolor portraying the Babylonian king by English poet, painter, and printmaker William Blake (1757-1827). Photo / Tate Gallery in Great Britain
Daniel interpreted the dream and gave the king a decree. He revealed to Nebuchadnezzar that he was the tree that became great and strong, whose dominion reached far and wide. He was the tree to be chopped down to the stump, to be driven from his people, to live among wild animals, to be given the mind of an animal, and eat grass like an ox, for 7 years. But Daniel also advised him to renounce his sins and wickedness by doing what was right and kind.
King Nebuchadnezzar didn’t heed Daniel’s wise counsel and a year later he was walking on the roof of his royal palace and prideful words leaped from his heart and rolled off his tongue.
“Is this not Babylon the great, which I myself have built as a royal residence by the might of my power and for the honor of my majesty?’ While the word was still in the king’s mouth, a voice came from heaven, saying, ‘King Nebuchadnezzar, to you it is declared: sovereignty has been removed from you.”
The frightful dream was fulfilled.
And at the end of 7 long years, King Nebuchadnezzar looked up to the heavens and his sanity was restored and he praised the Most High. The restoration of his honor, his splendor, and his throne followed suit. Daniel 4 not only includes the king’s dream, but a testimony of his pride, God’s glorious and miraculous power and reign, and his merciful restoration.
tall tale takeaways for spiritual growth and freedom
In working with formerly incarcerated clients, I’ve found a common denominator: self-serving decision-making without regard to God or others will lead to bondage, both physically (sometimes with a prison sentence) and spiritually. The latter is much worse than the former, with the possibility of lasting an eternity without true repentance. Below are a few keys to freedom that will lead to a life set apart for God, His ways, His plans, and His glory.
1) Seek the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, not your own.
Nebuchadnezzar was focused on building his own kingdom and exalting his own name. And in his chase after the things of this world, he neglected the oppressed. After interpreting the dream of the tree to the king, Daniel earnestly advised him to repent of his sins and help the oppressed and he failed to do that, causing the gavel of justice to come down. This incessant striving to build and exalt our own kingdom is rampant in this technological age and has become a spiritual pandemic. John Calvin once said that it is the task of the church to make the invisible kingdom visible. That should be our sole desire and pursuit. God promised that He would take care of the rest.
But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be provided to you.
(Matthew 6:3, NASB)
2) Pride leads to insanity and destruction, humility to peaceand prosperity.
While the Kingdom of God includes His supreme reign over all, it innately also includes His thoughts and ways of being, which are naturally not our thoughts and ways. In seeking God’s kingdom, we are also in pursuit of aligning with His heart and mind. Prideful, self-aggrandizing thoughts and subsequent behaviors can lead to mental health and emotional issues. Our minds are literally lost in the world of self and are unable to hear or see anything else. This leads to an inflated sense of power and corrodes personal and social relationships. This is what King Nebuchadnezzar experienced. God wisely counsels us to humble ourselves under His mighty hand, so that He will lift us up in due time.
Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall. (Proverbs 16:18, NLT)
Laying your life down in tender surrender before the Lord will bring life, prosperity, and honor as your reward. (Proverbs 16:18, TPT)
3) God is merciful and sovereign; therefore, judge not.
When God decreed Nebuchadnezzar’s 7-year sentence for having a prideful heart, he didn’t completely destroy him or his kingdom. He simply humbled him because he would not humble himself. Leaving the stump and its roots imprisoned in a band of iron and bronze, represented God’s mercy toward him. In nature, trees can grow back from a cut stump. If the root system has enough remaining nutrients, then the impossible becomes possible. For some of my formerly incarcerated clients, the prison was their saving grace. Everything they pridefully pursued was stripped from them, and like a cut tree stump, they waited behind bars, sought the Lord, and were freed spiritually before they were freed physically.
In the Bible, we learn that the ‘Year of Jubilee’ released those from debts and all kinds of bondage; prisoners, captives, and all slaves were released, debts were forgiven, and all property was returned to its original owners. This occurred after seven cycles of seven years, or after 49 years. King Nebuchadnezzar was completely restored after 7 years. And as He works with us and through and for us in our weakness, we too can shout, “Grace, grace,” like the prophet Zechariah, as God lays the capstone Jesus Christ in our new heart-temple.
I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy and will show clemency on whom I will show clemency. (Exodus 33:19, Jubilee Bible 2000)
Look to me —the King of Glory; the One with balm in His hands. The One who heals all wounds. Release your hurt into My hands and I will guard your heart with mine. Surrender your pain and trust Me with it. Let go of the past and look to our future together. Trust that I am ordaining your steps and directing all lives. Trust in My love for you. I cherish you, dear daughter. I know your past and your pain. It is over. The future is bright with My glory. Enter into a partnership with Me—an adventure of love and life. Do not fear that which is around you because I encamp around you with My love and protection. Listen to My words and they will heal you. They will bring life to all the dead places. Rest in Me, trust in Me, live in Me. Shalom, My daughter.
For the past several years I’ve been a case manager at a correctional halfway house with countless federal offenders who leave their respective prisons from all over the United States, enter our facility for a time, and exit into society—our shared community.
Each individual man or woman reacts to their time under custody in different ways. Some, it seems, never changed the mindsets that led them there, while others have made a 180-degree turn. The in-betweens are struggling to make life changes. Some have been broken and humbled and others have been traumatized beyond imagination.
I was talking to one of the latter for close to an hour in my office one day. This individual was beyond frustrated and needed to vent. It was quite intense, to say the least. Although I was at peace in spirit, I could see that the individual was not. This person was imprisoned for over a decade and committed countless disciplinary infractions, many violent, while incarcerated—the most I’ve ever heard of. They spanned two pages long.
The individual was transferred to a supermax prison for the last two years of custody, housing prisoners inclined to violence toward other prisoners and staff. Under its roof were terrorists, bombers, cartel leaders, and organized crime figures.
And there, across from me, sat this individual, who was not only trapped by the physical tentacles of that prison and its inmates but also trapped by the darkness within, pouring forth from trembling lips. Corrupt and lifeless were self-descriptors. All I could do was listen as time and a few soft-spoken words attempted to quiet the demons.
As I sit here replaying that hour in my mind, I wonder, why me, why now. And the answer comes, If not me, who? And in the words of Primo Levi, If not now, when?
We live in a material world of flashy lights and deceptive smoke, greedy glitter, and never-ending entertainment that attempts to inject a happy serum in us and distract us from a dark, spiritual reality. This reality even tries to masquerade as light, as good. Heaven and earth testify through their groaning that evil shares a common living space with us.
I saw that deep darkness take hold of a human from the inside out.
I looked into their eyes and saw the depth of its grip.
And then I saw something else.
I saw a spark of hope as healing truth dribbled out. It had been planted in that soul and took root and broke through the darkness carrying the potential of a mustard seed.
There is a darkness that lurks and connives, penetrating into the human soul not visible to the human eye, until we see its effects.
And it will take God’s light to expose it.
And it will take God’s light bearers to pierce it.
I’ve realized
that sometimes when you’re doing a good thing, the enemy throws a monkey wrench
to mess things up, and sometimes it just feels like he throws a torpedo at us,
right? Like it comes out of left field and we’re blindsided.
So for me,
fear was thrown into the mix when I was taking care of my loving grandparents
years ago. At the same time I was taking care of them, I experienced emotional
abuse from someone close to me and the torment I felt was relentless. The
person inflicting the abuse was also experiencing fear of their own and fear
breeds torment.
The fear
felt like my feet were petrified in cement and I didn’t see a way out of it.
Fear had
become the silent dictator in my life. I was literally walking on eggshells
every day for years, bowing to fear.
And even
after my grandparents went to be with the Lord, and my caretaking years were
over, and I was set free from the emotional abuse, I didn’t know how to live in
freedom because I had grown accustomed to living as a prisoner.
After
fifteen years of being a caretaker at home, I was thrust into the workforce. I
began working with federal prisoners at a halfway house and I was still
grieving all my losses.
At the
same time, this new season in my life was like a three-year exhale for me. It
was as if God was allowing the eye of the storm to hover over me. When a
hurricane initially passes over land, the eye of the storm brings calm but when
the back end of the storm reaches you, you’re caught up in some terrifying,
strong winds.
And then
it happened! The tail end of the storm came. I experienced my first panic
attack at work. And the torment was back. That experience had me face to face
with the fears and emotional pain I had stuffed into the depths of my soul.
The
anxiety attacks, as difficult as they were, served the purpose of testing my faith and to show ME, not God, what I was made of. Because
God already knew.
God is
concerned that we know so that we can confront our struggles and not repress
them, so that we can hand them over to Him for transformational healing.
God can
allow and use a difficult experience to ruffle our feathers so to speak, to
make us uncomfortable so that we don’t stay where we are in complacency, whether
it’s habitual negative behaviors, feelings or thoughts.
He
doesn’t want any of us to be a captive to our feelings, despite our
circumstances. And He works with us, and He’s patient, and He knows exactly
when enough is enough.
Some of
us cry, punch a pillow, or scream to release our feelings. And sometimes we try
to release them in ways that harm ourselves and others or both, through sex,
addictions or violence. But as much as we try to get rid of them, sometimes
they just linger, and fester, and root themselves in our souls and sometimes
they paralyze us and don’t let us move forward in our relationship with God, in
our relationships with each other and in our callings.
When we
stay in a comfort zone it keeps us stagnant and it doesn’t increase our faith. Looking
back, I can thankfully say that the anxiety I experienced was used as a
catalyst for freedom. It challenged me to step outside of my comfort zone, to
move forward in my spiritual journey.
I
believe that God is calling us out of our settlements, our comfort zones, our
fears, our pain, and even our
security, if it is anything or anyone beside God. And sometimes He does that
through divine interruptions.
Some of you may feel like you’re stuck in your feelings or in your circumstances, like there’s no way out, like you can’t control them, or make them go away?
MIRACLE AT THE POOL OF BETHESDA
In the beginning
of chapter five in the Gospel of John, we find a story of people gathered at
the pool of Bethesda in Jerusalem. They were by the pool because they were
sick, they were blind, they were lame, they were withered, but most
importantly, they were WAITING to be healed!
2 Now there is in Jerusalem by the sheep gate a pool, which is called in Hebrew Bethesda, having five porticoes. 3 In these lay a multitude of those who were sick, blind, lame, and withered, [waiting for the moving of the waters; 4 for an angel of the Lord went down at certain seasons into the pool and stirred up the water; whoever then first, after the stirring up of the water, stepped in was made well from whatever disease with which he was afflicted.] 5 A man was there who had been ill for thirty-eight years. 6 When Jesus saw him lying there, and knew that he had already been a long time in that condition, He said to him, “Do you wish to get well?” 7 The sick man answered Him, “Sir, I have no man to put me into the pool when the water is stirred up, but while I am coming, another steps down before me.” 8 Jesus said to him, “Get up, pick up your pallet and walk.”9 Immediately the man became well, and picked up his pallet and began to walk.
According
to the biblical text, it says that an angel of the Lord went down at certain
seasons into the pool and stirred up the water and whoever got in first was
made well.
Many of
the old Greek manuscripts that our English version was translated from don’t have
verses 3-5. And some biblical commentators propose that those pools were
associated with pagan temples nearby and that the expectation for healing wasn’t
from the God of Israel but other gods.
And it
made me think about how we are quick to dip into the pool of this world for
answers to our problems, for healing for our conditions. The world offers scores of ideas, tips, tricks, and methods
for emotional healing but do they really hold the keys to our healing?
There
was one particular man there at the pool who had been ill for 38 years. Verse 6
says, When Jesus saw him lying there and
knew that he had been a long time in that condition, He said to him, “Do you
wish to get well?”
The sick
man answered, “Sir, I have no man to put
me in the pool when the water is stirred up, but while I am coming, another
steps down before me.”
Some of
us are scratching our heads and saying, wrong answer. The sick man didn’t
exactly answer the way we would have expected, right?! He was supposed to say, YES! I want to be made well!
But
that’s easy for us to say when it wasn’t us in that situation.
But guess
what, he is us.
Can we
honestly say we haven’t waved away God’s offer for healing because we were
stuck in believing that our deliverance, our wholeness comes from something or
someone other than Jesus?
How many
times have we made excuses to God because we really didn’t have a full
revelation of who Jesus really is? Jesus introduced Himself and His authority
to the sick man but the sick man didn’t know who he was!
12 They asked him, “Who is the man who said to
you, ‘Pick up your pallet and walk’?” 13 But the man who was healed did not know who it
was, for Jesus had slipped away while there was a crowd in that place.
We look
to exercises and breathing techniques and therapy for relief and all that can
help temporarily but it isn’t the answer.
It’s not how we breathe but what we breathe.
It’s not about physical posture but where we stand.
It’s not what we say, but what He says.
It’s not how we feel, but what He reveals.
Jesus
simply said to the sick man…
Get up.
Pick up your mat.
And walk.
Get up.
Notice
that Jesus didn’t respond to what the sick man said to him about not having
someone to put him in the pool at the stirring of the waters. The sick man was
stuck in his past thinking and believing. He didn’t realize that his wholeness
was standing right in front of Him. Jesus refused to leave Him there. He simply
commanded freedom for the sick man.
Pick up your mat.
Don’t
settle into your toxic emotions. Don’t accept it! “This is just the way I am, this is my personality, this is my lot in
life.” No! Jesus has something better for you. He has a new land for you to
abide in.
And walk.
This
wasn’t really about walking physically. Jesus is way more concerned with us
walking in faith. He’s concerned with setting the captives FREE, free from the
clutches of sin, the torment of fear, our fiery anger, an unforgiving heart,
the control of our emotions.
That’s
why He tells us to walk. So that we can know that we’re FREE. That spiritual
walk is done in faith. You can be in a wheelchair and be the FREEST person
alive and you can be trotting the globe and be a prisoner spiritually.
Jesus
asks us to walk. Why? Because He’s taking us toward our destination—into His
presence.
OUT OF OUR SETTLEMENTS, INTO HIS PROMISED LAND
Jesus is
saying to us, these toxic, incarcerating emotions, isn’t where I want you
settled. LOVE, HOPE, FAITH that is our inheritance! That is the promised land
and its treasures! That is what we’re walking toward in faith. If Jesus is not
there, that is not your promised land!
The
promised land is not a place, it’s a person! It’s God’s presence. God Himself
is your promised land. It isn’t about an earthly plot of land, or a spouse, or
success, or fortune, or homes, or children. He is your treasure and your great
reward!
Jesus
isn’t settling for you being a captive to your emotions and neither should you!
He has so much more. But we have to be willing to do our part and walk away
from the lies, our past, our fears.
And when
we walk away from all that in faith, we may walk away with scars from our
battles but we’re given a treasure that doesn’t compare to what we lost.
And you
know what? The sick man’s healing wasn’t the best God had for him.
The best
God has for you and me is the revelation of knowing Jesus and that only happens
when we get up, pick up our mats, and walk into a deeper relationship with the
God who offers us the keys to freedom from the grip of our emotions.
LOVE, HOPE, FAITH
Cognitive
Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is based on the idea that thoughts, feelings and
behaviors are connected and influence each other. So you can’t deal with your
emotions without assessing what you’re thinking about, what you believe, and
what you’re doing.
Feelings
are usually driven by three thoughts:
What you think about yourself.
What you think about what someone else said/did
or didn’t do for or to you.
What you think about what God did/didn’t do for
you?
I think
its safe to say that toxic feelings usually stem from a relational issue. And I
believe that it’s a relational issue that will solve it!
So the first key to freedom that God offers us from the grip of toxic or controlling emotions is relational and it involves our relationship with God.
The 1st key is love.
We’re
all going to feel angry, lonely, sad, and scared sometimes. But I’m persuaded
that the root of our emotional imbalances, meaning, feeling too much anger, too
much fear, too much sadness, too much loneliness, is not knowing we are LOVED!
There’s
ONE relationship that can fix that. God’s love is perfect. There are no holes
in it, no lack, no fickleness. It’s faithful, it’s sacrificial, it’s always thinking
about what’s best for us.
If God
is for you, WHO can be against you? It may feel like the world is against you, out
to get you but God is there. He is the ONLY CONSTANT in your life and the one
that can meet all of your emotional needs and then some.
So why
not get to know the person that knows us better than ourselves? Why do we run
to others for healing, why do we listen to half-truths instead of what God
says?
God
wants you to know Him as your
Father—the One who loves you, protects you, provides for you, withholds no good
thing from you and has your best interest at heart.
Ask Him to reveal Himself to your heart. Prioritize spending time with Him alone. That’s been a huge key in my freedom. Knowing that I’m His dear daughter has been a game changer! I’ve learned to trust Him as I’ve gotten to know Him deeper.
The 2nd key is hope.
The 2nd key is hope because hope fuels faith. One of the ways I continue to get to know my Father is through His word. Saturate your mind with the truth of who God is and who He says you are. And intentionally turn of all the other negative voices in your life.
Without good news, what do people have to hope in? God offers you good news to give you hope; to shine a light in the midst of your darkness. That good news is found in His word. Make a habit to be in His word!
The 3rd key is faith.
The
struggle over your emotions ends when you choose to BELIEVE the Truth found in
His word—what Jesus did for you and how much He loves you.
The
fight of faith isn’t to fight your emotions but to BELIEVE! Position yourself to believe by knowing the
Truth, because faith comes by hearing and hearing WHAT? The word of God!
When you
find yourself in the chaos of human weakness and the whirlwind of emotions, remember
this, God is constant! God is faithful! God never leaves you! God loves YOU! Find
your safe space in Him! Settle into His truth and the mind of Christ will
influence your emotions and set you free.
I want you to become a prisoner with me, but
this time we’re not held captive by fear, or depression, or pain, or our past
but by hope.
… prisoners of hope is what we’ll be.
This post was adapted from a talk I gave for the first time at a women’s brunch in Chicago this past December after years of the enemy trying to silence my voice through fear.
We are overwhelmingly aware of all sorts of things. Today’s technological advances have aided the delivery of despairing news from all around the world—tragedies, threats of war, and terrorism that attempt to consume us. It camps in our mind, affects our behaviors and influences our words. The darkness that surrounds us is thick. The darkness within, even thicker. It often feels like nothing can penetrate this oppression.
Yet, there is hope.
Matthew 2:1-2 says that at the time of Jesus’ birth in Bethlehem of Judea, wise men from the east saw Jesus’ star rising in the sky. There was a star rising but it wasn’t an earthly star. It was the bright and morning star.
The Son was rising.
These wise men were following ‘His’ star in the night sky. They were used to that. God spoke to them in a way they understood. These spiritual priests or advisors were also known as magi, experts in astronomy, astrology, and natural science. But on that grand day when Jesus was born, God led them to the most glorious Light the earth has ever known. And it wasn’t the star in the sky. They were led to Jesus Himself, the hope for a world caught in the throes of darkness.
Jesus is …
The star that ushers hope into our broken and desperate souls.
The star that reveals the authority of truth amidst the tyranny of confusion.
The star that heals with His presence as torment releases its grip.
The magi witnessed for themselves that the true Light of the world had come. The sun, the moon and the stars paled in comparison to the Light that dispels spiritual darkness. By nature, Jesus’ life brings hope, healing, and the revelation of truth.
When His Light comes, darkness must flee.
Darkness is hard at work being what it is. Darkness doesn’t understand how to be light. All it knows, lives and breathes is darkness—an oppressive darkness that keeps us blind and chained. But, take heart. Even if there is devastation and destruction all around you, the Son is rising with healing in His wings.
The Son is rising in the hearts of many seekers.
If you’ve been looking to the lesser lights of this world for counsel and comfort and still feel darkness nipping at your heels, all you have to do is allow the true Light to enter your heart. His Light will shine in you and through you.
The Hebrew name for Jesus is Yeshua, which means, “the Lord is salvation.”
Reach out for Him in faith, even in the midst of darkness.
The adrenaline rush jolted me into an internal frenzy. My heart was palpitating. Suddenly I felt dizzy. I thought for sure I’d faint. I didn’t know if I was having a heart attack or what. As all of this was going through my head, my fingers were typing at the keyboard and I had a client in front of me. I couldn’t take it any longer. I needed to escape. I excused myself and walked as quickly as I could to the office right next to mine. I told my coworker what I was feeling. She said it sounded like I was having an anxiety attack, to sit down, take deep breaths, and that it would pass in a few minutes.
Those minutes were agonizing. And the next several days even more so. I went to the ER two days in a row convinced something was dreadfully wrong, only to be told I was physically fine. But I was far from fine. For the first week, I couldn’t sleep because my heart was pounding out of my chest. That coupled with all sorts of scary thoughts bombarding my mind were pure torment. I didn’t want to leave my home or be alone. I lost 15 pounds in those two weeks due to loss of appetite and digestive issues. I’ve been through some tough days and nights, but those two weeks were a dark night of the soul for me. The only thing I could do was cry out to God and desperately wait for relief.
This month marks the one-year anniversary of that anxiety attack. I had subsequent anxious days following but they were less intense, yet no less despairing and paralyzing. The anxiety attack was triggered at work but it was really uncovering years of fear, mental abuse, stuffed emotions, and the loss of major relationships. All the yuck from the past was taking too much space in my soul, affecting my body as well. I hadn’t fully offered all the pain from my past to God to move into freedom. I bottled it all up until it had no recourse but to find a way out. And that’s when anxiety reared its ugly head.
I came from a loving but enmeshed family. Fear was the silent dictator. It caused us to live isolated lives. All we had was each other and the unhealthy bond was hard to break. Our trust was in our family unit. It was as if we were one instead of four individuals. Much of my loyalty to my family stemmed from being raised by mami and papi, my maternal grandparents. They chose me, rescued me, and raised me. And I loved them for it. Since they were older parents, ailing health required around the clock care in their later years, which I did at home, with the help of my older sister until she became ill herself.
After losing mami, papi, and a healthy relationship with my sister, the sheltered life I was used to was no more. I stepped into an unfamiliar territory of making my own decisions. I walked out stripped of my identity as a caretaker for fifteen years but carrying burdens of loss and pain deep within me.
God was gracious to give me three years of much needed rest after that season of my life came to a close. So there I was—physically free from but still a captive to my painful past. And God knew it was time to face it. But in order for me to face it, I’d have to see its effects. And it wasn’t pretty.
When gold is put through the refining fire dross comes to the surface. That’s what happens to us when our faith is tested. Like, whoa! That was in there? 1 Peter 1:7 says, Your faith will be like gold that has been tested in a fire. And these trials will prove that your faith is worth much more than gold that can be destroyed. (CEV)
This past year tested what I was made of. I thought I was doing well. But anxiety was the waste material produced and buried within and it was pointing to something deeper still. Trust issues. More specifically, my trust in God.
I had to face the hard question of who or what I have been putting my trust in. Some folks put their trust in relationships, others in money, in careers, in the government, in their carefully planned life, or in themselves. For so many years, the trinity I bowed down to was my family. My fear of displeasing or losing my family superseded my reverence of God.
All of us want to put our faith in something trustworthy—with a good track record, right? And we can’t trust something we don’t know. Trust is usually built over time. I realized I wasn’t consistently cultivating my trust in God.
I was so close to my earthly father that it nearly replaced my relationship with God as my Father—which simply put, is idolatry. We may not even know that that’s what we’re doing! But I know that anything that attempts to supplant God enthroned in our heart is an idol. I’ve had to identify these idols and consciously admit their primacy before my trust in God. Our relationship with God should fuel our love for one another not our adoration of one another.
When we put all our hope in another, we also place burdensome expectations on them. And when they fail us, we become frustrated or heartbroken. And without an anchoring relationship with God, we can be tossed to and fro when relationship storms hit us. Some of these storms can be rejection, abandonment, loss or abuse.
God wants to reveal Himself as our Father—one that would never disappoint us or leave us. Many of us have had earthly mothers or fathers who didn’t choose us or keep us. But the beauty of our relationship with God is that He chose us!
3 Every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realm has already been lavished upon us as a love gift from our wonderful heavenly Father, the Father of our Lord Jesus—all because he sees us wrapped into Christ. This is why we celebrate him with all our hearts! 4 And he chose us to be his very own, joining us to himself even before he laid the foundation of the universe! Because of his great love, he ordained us, so that we would be seen as holy in his eyes with an unstained innocence. 5–6 For it was always in his perfect plan to adopt us as his delightful children, through our union with Jesus, the Anointed One, so that his tremendous love that cascades over us would glorify his grace—for the same love he has for his Beloved One, Jesus, he has for us. And this unfolding plan brings him great pleasure!
(Ephesians 1:3-6, The Passion Translation)
We were chosen by God, we’re a delight to Him, and He loves us the same as He loves Jesus! That’s quite a heart and mind blower. I want to trust His ‘tremendous love’ and fully experience what a relationship with Him as my Father looks like.
In choosing us, God the Father adopted us to become part of His family. The cost to adopt us wasn’t monetary as some adoptions entail, it was the offering of One life for many. God saw our need for a family. He looked at the earth full of spiritual orphans. God choosing us didn’t end there. Jesus redeems us and the Holy Spirit empowers us. Each member of the Godhead is involved in our life. They are now our family and we can’t lose them or be snatched from their embrace.
Anxiety is a captor that suffocates us with lies. It tells us that there’s no hope, that terrible things will happen, and that we’ll remain where we are. But Jesus’ death is the key that opens the door that takes us from that whirlwind of tormenting darkness into a relationship with God, the Father of lights. We are not alone or forgotten. God Himself offered the precious way to His heart, the truth that sets us free, and the life we desperately need.
This past year, God wasn’t necessarily showing me ways to overcome the anxiety. Methods and tools to overcome it are useful but temporary if the root issue isn’t addressed. God was teaching me to trust Him despite my circumstances. There was a shift of focus from the pain and effects of my past to His love and trustworthiness.
I also recently discovered that for a long time I was responding to God the way I had responded to those who hurt me. I lost trust, intimacy, and safety with them, which caused me to withdraw emotionally. I ran away from connecting with people for fear of pain. And that had carried into how I related to God. I kept Him at a distance as well, not enjoying the full potential of our relationship.
I’m learning to take walks with my Father, listen to His heart, talk things over, and to trust all the beautiful plans He has for our future. And when I look back on my past I want to focus on the marks of God’s presence not on the pain.
I decided to get a little exercise in by raking a trillion leaves that we clearly didn’t make time for. They were still rather damp from the rains from a few days back, so the raking was more difficult with the added weight.
As I began raking the hoarded autumn leaves from our back stairs, I noticed how they covered the water drain, not allowing the rain to fall through. The rain just seeped into the leaves themselves, and slowly made its way down.
I began to rake the yard. It was too much to gather all the leaves in one area so I made three mounds and added leaves nearby to each mound.
And then it hit me. Hard. I began to think about all the layers I’ve allowed to cover my heart. Layers of burdens – shame, regret, pain, fear, anxiety. They laid on the soil of my heart and it was heavy.
As I raked the leaves and added them to the mounds, it was as if I was placing my layers at the altar before the Lord. I couldn’t see all the layers and layers, year after year, anxiety upon fear, fear upon regret, regret upon pain, and pain upon shame. As I kept raking, I kept uncovering the truth.
One mound for the Father.
One mound for the Son.
One mound for the Holy Spirit.
As I raked the leaves, I also found broken branches.
I made a heap for the sticks and mounds for the leaves. Leaves that became heavy, burdensome stones. Stones that covered my heart – making it cold and inaccessible. So now I had sticks and I had stones and a bunch of hurts I needed to name.
Oh Lord! Dig through the layers of these leaves of stones on my weary heart and heal me. Show me the hope you have for me. I know that there’s life underneath all these layers of dying – with your love, through your blood, by your power.
Death was gripping my heart, not allowing me to live – to breathe.
There it was for me to see. The layers I’d accumulated over my life that covered my heart. Clear as day.
But deep inside, under the layers, is a heart of flesh.
God will make it right.
And as I write, the wind outside is strong enough to lift the dry, lifeless, falling leaves, enabling a few of them to knock at my window looking for a home.
But I won’t let them in.
It’s time for the northerly winds to scatter them away.
But the leaves will continue to fall and I vow to catch them before they get too comfortable with me.
And so I wait, grasping at hope. Expecting to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.
And I lift my hand and give them to God one by one.
Many women feel less than, as if they lack something that will give them value. They may be estranged from their family, single or divorced, abused, infertile, lonely, or voiceless. They compare themselves to other women or men around them and all they can see is what they don’t have. But what if God’s intention for women is abundance in all the expected areas of life – family, intimacy, fruitfulness, friendship, and purpose, but only if she was willing to receive it in an unexpected way.
EVERY woman is capable of being a feminine plural.
EVERY woman is called to be a daughter, a wife, a mother, and a sister.
God has purposely chosen women to be a representation of the fullness of God. Just as He named Eve, the mother of all living – abundance is inherent in the makeup of a woman. She was designed to carry seed and produce life and live purposefully. A woman’s God-given heritage is waiting to be re-claimed.
Women —your fulfillment is in being ALL that God has created you to be. And that fulfillment is found in the company of the Triune God and His love for you.
Not in having an earthly family, but in being accepted in the Beloved.
Not in marrying a man, but in setting yourself apart to be the bride of Christ.
Not in having babies, but in birthing the Word of God from your spiritual womb.
Not in being liked or followed, but in denying your self and uplifting others.
Not in being a worldly success, but in living out your Spirit-driven purpose.
Family, marriage, pregnancy, community, and worldly success are earthly shadows of kingdom principles that are not yet fully manifested in their glorious state. Not all women will experience these conventional or expected norms, but the mystery is that abundant life can still be grasped. Who can ignore the distant echo of Jesus’ words reverberating down generations, The kingdom of God is within you.
Every woman has the potential to be all that she was made to be in the here and now. And its varied forms can happen all at once or in different seasons of a woman’s life. There is no need for jealousy or envy. God has given every woman the capacity to overflow in abundance.
EVERY woman can be a daughter — I will be a father to you. {2 Corinthians 6:18}
Some women have been adopted as children or have been in the foster care system, abused, rejected, neglected, or abandoned by their parents, victims of divorce, orphaned by disease, death, war or drugs. Simply put, some women feel alone and cry out for acceptance.
And from the deepest reserve of His love, God’s voice whispers, You, my dear child, are my daughter. I have chosen you. I knew you before you were knit in the womb. You have always belonged to me. Father, Son and Spirit are your dependable family and refuge.
EVERY woman can be a wife —Thy maker is thy husband. {Isaiah 54:5}
Jesus is calling every woman to be His bride – to an intimate spiritual relationship. She will be cherished, honored, empowered, fruitful, and safe. Jesus will meet a woman’s every need and transform her if she gives her self wholly to Him.
And He says, Come, come sweet bride. Listen to the gentle whispers of my love for you. I will comfort your aching, longing heart, and prepare it to receive. The secret of the depth of our fellowship is time. Set aside time every day to talk with me and I will reveal my secrets to you.
EVERY woman can be a mother — For more are the children of the desolate woman than the married wife. {Isaiah 54:1}
Once a woman has decided to give her heart to Jesus, the result of their union is abundant life. She will become a fruitful garden. He will tend to her and cause the North Wind to blow out her fragrance into the lives of the people around her.
As the seeds of God’s word are planted in her spiritual womb, thevoice of Jesus whispers, The excess of my love will spill out for others through you. And you will comfort and care for my wounded children and you will feed the hungry – these are fathers and mothers, sisters and brothers. I have bundles of joy for you.
EVERY woman can be a sister — She had a sister who sat at the Lord’s feet. {Luke 10:39}
Surrendered women have a dynamic, personal assistant in the Holy Spirit. He reveals the deepest mysteries of Jesus. In silence and stillness, make time each day to listen and focus on the words and work of God. In yielding yourself, the Holy Spirit will be your influencer, your mentor, your teacher, your revealer, and your reminder. Strengthened by the Spirit you bandage, you carry, and you love your wearied, broken sisters.
And the gentle whisper of Jesus says, Be that sister who sits at the Lord’s feet. Be the sister who has loads of love and encouragement, the sister who edifies, the sister who teaches her sisters to seek the Lord with all their heart.
EVERY woman can have a purpose – You have come to your position for such a time as this. {Esther 4:14}
God makes everything beautiful in its time. All our sufferings are used for good. Some women feel like they’re permanent residents of a wasteland of buried dreams but God has a plan for each woman – confronting her past with her future to bring forth a dynamic now. You may be in a season of suffering or a season of waiting or a season of intimacy. But these are all leading to the revelation of your unique purpose.
And Christ whispers, Come with me, walk with me. Let’s hold hands. My visible scars will remind you I understand your brokenness. I will wipe your tears away in the company of my faithful love for you. I have wonderful plans for you – for us. Set your eyes on eternity – on me, and do not look back. Do not be afraid of your future. I am there.
My prayer for you, dear sister, is that God will empty your heart of regret, pain, loss, the shadow of death, loneliness, barrenness, and dreams deferred to make room for the fullness of God.
Embrace your feminine plurality. Abundance is yours!
I need this year to be radically different than last year or the year before. If I’m not willing to hone in on the one thing I desire, I’ll never achieve it. Over the years I’ve been distracted by pain, fear, anxiety, and certain relationships. I’ve voluntarily been robbed of my time.
Everything can’t have my attention. And I can’t allow the master deceiver to steal it from me any longer. My number one goal for this year is an even deeper intimacy with Jesus. My relationship with Him will not grow if I don’t make a concerted effort to focus on Him and what He is saying to me. And it’s not going to be easy. It’s going to take time, vision, determination, and sacrifice.
In optics (film or photography) you can focus on a person or object while everything around it is blurred. As radical as this may sound, that’s what I must do. To focus will require that I blur out other things. It doesn’t eradicate them from existence; I’ll just have to choose not to give my attention, either for a period of time or indefinitely, to the circus of activity trying to distract me. It isn’t enough to say yes to your dream. Saying no to other things is just as important.
Do you live a distracted life? Are you giving too much or all of your attention to activities, people, or thoughts that are holding you back from fulfilling your purpose? I want to encourage you to do a soul inventory.
What dream have you been holding hostage?
What is distracting you from working on it?
What are you willing to give up to achieve it?
Who are you surrounding yourself with?
What are you doing with your time?
What will you use your time for this year? Below is an acronym of what focus will mean for me this year. Personalize the acronym to reflect your focus and print it out as a reminder.
Here’s to staying focused! Cheers {raising and clinking my coffee cup with yours}!
Fearless: I will allow God’s perfect love to cast out all fear.
Open Eyes: I will seek clarity from the Holy Spirit.
Consistency: I will spend time every day on my focus.
Redwoods on a trail along the Newton B. Drury Scenic Parkway in Northern California. Photo / Merwyn Sanders II (2022)
We are overwhelmingly aware of all sorts of things. Today’s technological advances have aided the delivery of despairing news from all around the world—tragedies, threats of war, and terrorism that attempt to consume us. It camps in our mind, affects our behaviors and influences our words. The darkness that surrounds us is thick. The darkness within, even thicker. It often feels like nothing can penetrate this oppression.
The adrenaline rush jolted me into an internal frenzy. My heart was palpitating. Suddenly I felt dizzy. I thought for sure I’d faint. I didn’t know if I was having a heart attack or what. As all of this was going through my head, my fingers were typing at the keyboard and I had a client in front of me. I couldn’t take it any longer. I needed to escape. I excused myself and walked as quickly as I could to the office right next to mine. I told my coworker what I was feeling. She said it sounded like I was having an anxiety attack, to sit down, take deep breaths, and that it would pass in a few minutes.
I decided to get a little exercise in by raking a trillion leaves that we clearly didn’t make time for. They were still rather damp from the rains from a few days back, so the raking was more difficult with the added weight.
Many women feel less than, as if they lack something that will give them value. They may be estranged from their family, single or divorced, abused, infertile, lonely, or voiceless. They compare themselves to other women or men around them and all they can see is what they don’t have. But what if God’s intention for women is abundance in all the expected areas of life – family, intimacy, fruitfulness, friendship, and purpose, but only if she was willing to receive it in an unexpected way.
I need this year to be radically different than last year or the year before. If I’m not willing to hone in on the one thing I desire, I’ll never achieve it. Over the years I’ve been distracted by pain, fear, anxiety, and certain relationships. I’ve voluntarily been robbed of my time.